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Jokes and Humor Thread, Perks of old age in General Chat; Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading ...
  1. #1
    FACE33's Avatar
    FACE33 is offline Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    north of 49
    Posts
    478

    Talking Perks of old age

    Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too.



    Perks of reaching 50

    or being over 60

    And heading towards 70, or even....... beyond!

    1.
    Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

    2.
    In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

    3.
    No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

    4.
    People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

    5.
    People no longer view you as a hypochondriac

    6.
    There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    7.
    Things you buy now won't wear out.

    8.
    You can eat supper at 4 PM.

    9.
    You canít live without your glasses.

    10.
    You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11.
    You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

    12.
    You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13.
    You sing along with elevator music.

    14.
    Your eyes won't get much worse.

    15.
    Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    16.
    Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17.
    Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    18.
    Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

    19.
    You can't remember who posted this list.



    And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

    Tell this to everyone you can remember right now!


    AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

    NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ,

    under any circumstances,

    take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!

  2. #2
    setwire's Avatar
    setwire is offline Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    1,548
    Quote Originally Posted by FACE33 View Post
    Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too.



    Perks of reaching 50

    or being over 60

    And heading towards 70, or even....... beyond!

    1.
    Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

    2.
    In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

    3.
    No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

    4.
    People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

    5.
    People no longer view you as a hypochondriac

    6.
    There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    7.
    Things you buy now won't wear out.

    8.
    You can eat supper at 4 PM.

    9.
    You canít live without your glasses.

    10.
    You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11.
    You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

    12.
    You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13.
    You sing along with elevator music.

    14.
    Your eyes won't get much worse.

    15.
    Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    16.
    Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17.
    Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    18.
    Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

    19.
    You can't remember who posted this list.



    And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

    Tell this to everyone you can remember right now!


    AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

    NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ,

    under any circumstances,

    take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
    '

    Or take Codiene and Rum for back pain. LOL

  3. #3
    dr76redwings is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    20
    good one


 

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