Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too.
Perks of reaching 50
or being over 60
And heading towards 70, or even....... beyond!
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You can eat supper at 4 PM.
You canít live without your glasses.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
You can't remember who posted this list.
And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.
Tell this to everyone you can remember right now!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ,
under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!